Friday, November 13, 2009

November 13

November 13 is a memorial date in my life. It was on this date in 2003 that I lost the 11 week old baby I was carrying. It was a traumatic time, full of emotion and questioning. I had already delivered 4 healthy babies and just assumed that this baby would be the same.



I remember thinking that I just didn't understand it. Why would God give me a baby that I didn't ask for, just to take it right away? I questioned God over and over, wondering why this had to happen. I never got any specific answers. I could guess the reasons, but I don't know the mind of God. I did, however, receive the "peace that passess all understanding" after a few weeks. God was very gracious with me and I was soon able to thank Him for the gift of that baby and also that He had taken it away.



I had not shed tears over that baby in a long time- until last Sunday morning. I had been thinking about the baby, as I tend to do this time of year, so it was fresh in my mind. During the Communion service last Sunday morning, we sang the song, "How Great Thou Art". When we came to the phrase, "When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart" I immediatly thought of going home and finally getting to meet my baby, and the tears just flowed.



Paul and I have said that this baby is our only child that we don't have to worry about. That baby is living such a blessed life, to be in the presence of the Father. I'm so thrilled for the baby, but must admit that I still feel a bit sorry for me. At times I just feel empty and I know it is because my arms ache to hold that child.



But, life must and does go on. There are others to care for, things that must get done. But I like to, on this date every year, remember the joy that sweet little baby gave me for 11 short weeks and thank God for His gift of life.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think of him often too and my own loved children in Heaven waiting for me. Thanks for the reminder we don't have to worry about them spiritualy for they are being raised in the FATHERS very presence. Praying HIS comfort and blessing on you in these very busy days as you teach and raise those lovely children as well as love and serve your husband and church. You are indeed a godly woman and a blessing. Love Mom Dziadul

Anonymous said...

I am sending you a hug Elizabeth, such a hard time to be away from my daughter but words of comfort to those who have also lost a baby. Can't wait to have you all here for Christmas. Love, Mom

Angie Greenfield said...

Thank you for sharing that. It was beautiful. You have a gift to share your heart with others. What a blessing and encouragement you are.