Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Wednesday, October 18

Tonight marks 5 weeks since the fire.  5 weeks since our life was turned upside down.  5 weeks since we lost Schnitzel.  5 weeks we have been dealing with insurance, with smoky, salvaged items, with donated clothes, furniture and house goods, and with setting up house in a strange home.  5 weeks.  Some days it seems like it was 5 years ago; some days it seems like 5 days.

Things have settled down.  We've kind of found a new normal.  This house has lost the "strange" feel, and we've figured out how to do life here.  People have been so kind and generous.  One person, whom we don't know, gave us a freezer with a good amount of beef in it.  Another person, an eye doctor, offered Paul a free eye exam and a free pair of glasses.  Paul works for the local funeral home and picked up lady who had died.  The lady's son and daughter in law recognized Paul from a clip the local news station did on the fire, and called him, and offered us the majority of the contents of his mother's house.  Two leather recliners, lamps, end tables, coffee table,dining room table and chairs, china hutch, china,  kitchen items, silverware, a king size bedroom suite along with many other items were given to us.  All our homeschool books have been replaced, and then some, along with boxes of school supplies. My children have more and nicer clothes than they had before the fire, as do Paul and I.  Our kitchen was stocked, and we've received several giftcards to walmart, kroger and publix.  A gentleman in China, who wanted to help those affected by Irma, purchased a triple bunk bed for out boys.

We have been so blessed.  God has been faithful in providing for us, over and above what we have needed.

It's still hard.  It has been hard going to the old house and salvaging items.  It's emotional seeing your home and all it's contents in such devastating conditions. It's hard seeing where Schnitzel is buried, and remembering him.  It's exhausting at times.  The transition to this new home has been so much harder than I anticipated.  I couldn't have imagined how the loss of your house and stuff would affect every area of your life.  It was cool this morning, and I realized, 5 weeks after the fire, that I have no socks.  Or jacket.

Sometimes it's hard to know what to feel.  It can be a roller coaster, and we have to remind ourselves that it's ok to feel bad.  It's ok to feel sad and cry.  We have suffered a great loss.  Yes, it could have been much worse and we are thankful it wasn't, but that doesn't mean there wasn't a loss. 

Beauty from ashes.

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