LIfe

It has been a rough few weeks around here.  I'm not exactly sure why.  It is almost like a roller coaster- for a while, everything's good, everything's ok, everyone is happy and just like that, everything changes.  The mood is dark, the road ahead seems endless and the tasks ahead seem overwhelming.  I think we all feel and express this in different ways. 

I've been close to tears and even full of tears at times these past few days.  Sometimes the loss seems huge, even though we have alot of the things we wanted from the house.  Even in the demolition of the house, it seems sad.  It's sad to see most of your earthly possessions being thrown in a dumpster.  It's disheartening to throw away your decorations and your children's artwork.  It is sad to see the house down to the studs, even though it's going to look better than it did.  I can't explain it and I am a bit surprised at how I am still feeling 8 weeks out.

It's still hard living in this house.  It's a nice house and we are grateful for it, but it's not our place.  We don't really know where things go, which means we have a hard time keeping it picked up, and finding things, like shoes.  The back room is filled with things we have salvaged from the house.  But all those things need to be gone through and dealt with and then a place needs to be found to put them until we move back in.

It's been hard finding a new routine.  Schoolwork is still not back to where it was before the fire and neither is housework.  There have been so many new adjustments at once.

So that is how our life has been.  Up and down.  I'm ready to be back to "normal" and back in our own place and back in a routine.  The contractor assures us the house will be done before Christmas, which is several weeks earlier than we thought.  That's great, but the amount of decisions that need to be made about the remodeling of the house in that amount of time is staggering and a bit overwhelming to me.

Beauty from ashes.