Sometimes, I need an adjustment of my perspective.
Have you ever been so close to a situation that you fail to see the truth in it? I've been there. In fact, I am there right now. It seems that ever since Paul returned from Brazil about a month ago, things at my house have been crazy. I feel overwhelmed and very incapable of handling all that my life entails. Some of it I am sure is my age and these crazy hormones. Some of it is honestly, having a very full plate at this season in my life. I've not been able to get into a routine with our schoolwork yet and I feel like most days we flounder with schoolwork, housework, churchwork, child training work, etc. Most days I feel like I run all day, yet am unproductive.
All this (plus the uncertainty that comes with parenting all ages) has led me to feeling sorry for myself. To doubt God's goodness in putting all this on me when all I want to do to please Him. To question some things that I know are not questionable. And to make me feel like running away some days.
Tonight, my perspective was adjusted.
I was invited to a dinner for pastor's wives. I had never been before and wasn't even sure I'd know anyone there. I went out of respect for the lady who invited me. God knew I needed to be there.
A pastors wife named Ann spoke. She is 65 years old and has been in the ministry her entire married life. She and her husband have ministered for well over 40 years. They have sacrificed to do God's will.
And they lived happily ever after. Right? Isn't that the way the story is supposed to end? I mean, they gave their lives for God. Doesn't God owe them great things in return?
In the course of their marriage, God blessed them with 5 children. One became an alchoholic and had a baby outside of marriage. One left her husband for the homosexual lifestyle. One was infertile. Her parents were brutally murdered. His father was brutally murdered. His mother died after a blood clot hit her heart.
Isn't that enough God? I mean, how much can a person take?
The woman that spoke tonight, the woman who lived through these horrific things, was blind. She lost her sight in the last few years because she is a severe diabetic. Her kidneys do not function, so she must do dialysis every night.
She did not complain.
She did not have a pity party.
She stood before us and told us how good God is.
She sang a song entitled, "Praise the Name of Jesus".
And I'm going to feel sorry for myself because I have a house full of kids and schoolwork and housework? Because I feel I can't keep up?
Oh God forgive me for my foolish attitude. Forgive me for not seeing the blessings in my daily life. Forgive me.