November 13

November 13 is a memorial date in my life. It was on this date in 2003 that I lost the 11 week old baby I was carrying. It was a traumatic time, full of emotion and questioning. I had already delivered 4 healthy babies and just assumed that this baby would be the same.



I remember thinking that I just didn't understand it. Why would God give me a baby that I didn't ask for, just to take it right away? I questioned God over and over, wondering why this had to happen. I never got any specific answers. I could guess the reasons, but I don't know the mind of God. I did, however, receive the "peace that passess all understanding" after a few weeks. God was very gracious with me and I was soon able to thank Him for the gift of that baby and also that He had taken it away.



I had not shed tears over that baby in a long time- until last Sunday morning. I had been thinking about the baby, as I tend to do this time of year, so it was fresh in my mind. During the Communion service last Sunday morning, we sang the song, "How Great Thou Art". When we came to the phrase, "When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart" I immediatly thought of going home and finally getting to meet my baby, and the tears just flowed.



Paul and I have said that this baby is our only child that we don't have to worry about. That baby is living such a blessed life, to be in the presence of the Father. I'm so thrilled for the baby, but must admit that I still feel a bit sorry for me. At times I just feel empty and I know it is because my arms ache to hold that child.



But, life must and does go on. There are others to care for, things that must get done. But I like to, on this date every year, remember the joy that sweet little baby gave me for 11 short weeks and thank God for His gift of life.

Wordless Wednesday

This is a picture of my Grandma Benzing and her older brother, probably taken in the 1920's.

Jantsen's Gift

Jantsen's Gift by Pam Cope A true story of Grief, Rescue and Grace

I was sent this book to review. It looked like an interesting book, so I was looking forward to reading it. What I didn't realize was how interesting it was going to be. This is a book I was not able to put down. I spent any spare minute I had reading it.

Pam Cope was an "ordinary" mom and wife. She owned and worked at a hair salon, had two kids in school, and lived in the suburbs, but always had a nagging feeling that her life was not all that it was supposed to be. Tragically, her son Jantsen died at the young age of 15 from a chronic heart condition. As you can imagine, this threw Pam's life for a loop. She struggled with her grief, being admitted to the hospital at one point and she battled depression also for years.

She and her family accepted an invitation to visit Vietnam. Pam thought it would help her grief if she were able to get away from the familiar for a while. She never thought that trip would change the entire course of her life.

The book details that trip, along with many other trips that literally changed Pam's, her husband and her daughter's life. Pam has been able to do incredible things for many unfortunate children around the world. I especially enjoyed the chapters on Lake Volta in Africa and the stories of how they were able to save so many children from slavery.

I would have liked to hear Pam share more of her faith and how God sustained her during her darkest hour. She does share somewhat about God's grace in her life, but I would have liked to hear more.

This book is a great read, and I have two copies I'd like to give away. If you'd like one, leave me a comment and I will get it to you.

*This is a Mama Buzz review and the book Jantsen's Gift was provided to me by The Hatchette Group to review on my blog.

I Can Trace/Prismacolor Colored Pencils

This is a Mama Buzz Review. These products were supplied to me by Timberdoodle for review on my blog.

When this product was offered, I jumped at the chance to review it, for several reasons. First, the publisher said it was for children beginning at age 2. I thought Benjamin would have fun doing this. Second, Timberdoodle is a great company and anything they put out is excellent. And third, I knew Sam would love doing this book.

I was not wrong on any count! As you can see, Samuel really enjoyed this book. Some of the tracing was too easy for him, but he did it anyway and enjoyed it. It has alot of different things to trace, some straight lines, some curvy/wavy lines and some odd shapes. He especially liked the mazes.

He also enjoyed using the Prismacolor Colored Pencils with this. It made it all the more special having "special" pencils to do his schoolwork with.

Benjamin was thrilled to give it a try. However, I'd say he's still a bit young for this. He LOVED coloring, but didn't get the concept of tracing. Maybe in a few months. He won't be 2 until February, so maybe I will try it with him then.

But he did enjoy himself!

As you can see!

I would say that the $10.50 for the I Can Trace book is a fair price. It is a huge book and the paper is thick. It has a bonus section in the back so you can see and try the other books in this series. The colored pencils are wonderful- they are of a much better quality than what you can buy at Walmart. The 12 pack of pencils cost $8.00 are are very worth it.

I would recommend this book for children ages 2 or 2 1/2 up to 5. Of course, the pencils are good for any age, even adults!

Random Thoughts

Can't believe it's been a week since I posted. It doesn't seem that long. I thought this was so cute. She was reading him library books and he was sitting so atentively.

While wearing his darth vadar mask. Where else but in a homeschool??

Benjamin is saying alot of new words these days. Interestingly enough, most of them have to do with food. Peekool (pickle), ketchup, toas, (toast), juice, water and lots more. He has perfected saying no and mine.

The girls spiked his hair one night after his bath.

He was getting a little irritated here- he had enough of having his picture taken. Paul and I have each tried to cut his hair, but he was having none of it. He is very scared of noises, with the vacuum being at the top of the list. He'll scream before it is even turned on.We are expecting alot of rain tomorrow from hurricane Ida. Maybe 2 - 5 inches for the day. It is supposed to be rainy and windy, but Wednesday is supposed to bring cooler temps. Yesterday was on of the most beautiful days that we have had this season- absolutely perfect.

I've started taking the little boys to story time at our local library. In all my years of being a mom, this is the first time I've done that and they love it. Sam sits and listens intently to the stories and puppets. Last week he kept raising his hand and telling the story lady little tidbits. It was funny. Benjamin ususally is up and down, but last week he sat for the whole time. It's so cute watching them.

(don't pay any attention to this last pic. Blogger won't let me delete it for some reason.

All dressed up for Church

The Hunting/Camping Trip

(Need a bath, anyone???)